What is Recovery today?

Along the sober path and at various stages of my sober life, this question has had varied meanings. Asked of me just last night I was able to answer very concisely. In our basic text it states that we have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. I believe that this hopeless state of mind and body is the mental obsession (the mind) and the physical compulsion (the body). It has been not only my experience but also my belief that we can recover from alcoholism, however we will always suffer from that much deeper issue the book refers to as the internal condition.


We are brought into the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous with a soul sickness, a deep and profound longing for God. However, we are unable to reach out to the spiritual nature of AA without first removing those things which stand in the way of our connection to our "power greater than ourselves", the first and most obvious of these things is Alcohol.

We remove this block by first building a life changing foundation which helps us to not take a drink a day at a time, through the process of the 12-steps we have a guaranteed spiritual experience that carries with it sufficient force to remove the obsession to drink. Coupled with that is a profound personality change that launches us into recovery.  Before long the drink problem has been removed and it is on now to those other things which stand in the way of our relationship with God, we through the 12-steps will identify these items in 4 and 5 and ask for them to be removed in the coming housecleaning steps.

It is this ongoing maintenance of our spiritual program along with the willingness to continue to grow along a spiritual path that keeps the internal condition at bay. Let's not forget that the sudden return of the internal condition as a result of a failure to grow often leads to a drink as we cannot live in that place without help.

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Posted in alcoholics anonymous, aloholics, God, life, mental obsession, soul, spiritual, spiritual malady

An AA Education...

Spiritual experience of the more educational variety gains a whole new perspective when long time slipper meets the rehab of their dreams and becomes an AA guru....

Or so the story goes...If you Google Treatment Facilities the the list is long and exhaustive, if you simply switch to an image search the game changes and you are pleasantly greeted with a whole host of aerial shots of Waste Water Treatment Plants.

What do these two things have in common with one another?

I say they have more in common than what you might think. Both bring in the dirty, the beaten and the unusable and through a process that is baffling to most spit out something that is of use to society.

That process is God, and it must not be confused with some sort of change brought about through an increase in educational status by way of group therapy or lots and lots of reading. I am a product of treatment, it was and will continue to be the most expensive trip to an AA meeting I ever take. They filled my head full of knowledge, they attempted to take me through some steps and teach me about triggers and reasons why I drank and how to avoid those thing in the future, but at the end of the day, despite all of the fancy names and top notch people and good food, they took us to an AA meeting, because they are no better at treating alcoholism than the local Denny's.

The reason we drank was alcoholism, we drank as the result of an internal condition, which looks to the professional community to be a lot like bi-polar...though it is not, and this internal condition can only be treated by means of a spiritual experience. The ground work can be laid at one of these facilities, they dry out a drunk, pump them full of vitamins and good food, get them rested and into better health and then they bring them to us...why? Because for as long as society can remember, there has been nowhere to send a drunk, until AA came along they looked us away to rot in institutions.

We must be careful in our meetings that we don't allow ourselves to be misled by the professional community and their attempts at healing alcoholism. They have been tasked with something we don't want to have to do. They are expected to produce results $XX.XX = sobriety and that is simply not the case, but if you through enough information at the problem, facts, figures, slogans, etc...then it will cloud the issue long enough for you to cash the check.

The cure for alcoholism, the only thing that has been found to work consistently for the last 70+ years has been the spiritual program of action that we call Alcoholics Anonymous. Let's bear in mind always that the book clearly states that we have found a solution on which we can all agree, that means that we needn't stumble in the dark for what might work any longer, we need only do what we have been told to do.

Take a minute to visit our sponsor at www.thetokenshop.com

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Posted in AA, acoholism, action, alcoholic, alcoholics anonymous, alcoholism, direction, God, path, Recovery, sobriety, spiritual

Honest with Themselves

"Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves." Alcoholics Anonymous Chapter Five

We deal alot with reservations around here, the idea of closing doors and leaving nothing open for alcohol to sneak back into our lives. It is paramount in recovery that we make certain that one is finished for good an for all. This post is going to, in a round about way, bring into focus the idea that there should be no reservations while pointing out the one true reservation that stands in the way of a person achieving recovery.

For arguments sake here is a Contextual Definition of a reservation: 

"There is no way I could stay sober through the loss of my husband."

This statement, though powerful and intense, has ultimately left the door open for alcohol to find it's way into the member's life in the tragic event of the loss of her husband. This is a reservation. 


With that said, the Bog Book of Alcoholics Anonymous is very clear about reservations...mentioned in chapter 3, they have used the word must in telling us that we absolutely need to be rid of reservations or any lurking notions.

" If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol." Alcoholics Anonymous Chapter Three

Now, practical application of this reservation removal is another issue all together. While being necessary to maintain permanent sobriety, it may take years and sometimes decades for all of the doors to be sealed shut and for alcohol to remain outside. We begin in early sobriety with things as simple as going to work, taking a paycheck, going to bed at night, all without the use and abuse of alcohol. As we progress further into our sober lives and our daily routine is free from booze, we move into the more difficult items, deaths and funerals, marriage and weddings, loss of jobs, health issues...we see other members trudge through great difficulty and we are given hope, slowly the things we though we could never stay sober through slip away and we drop the reservations. 

Now, as mentioned at the top of this post there is one reservation that is a go, no go in alcoholics anonymous. If one is unwilling or unable to be honest with themselves and to maintain that honesty throughout their sober life, then one cannot achieve permanent sobriety. Staying away from a drink a day at a time requires that we be honest with ourselves and thus the statement, "If I am not honest with myself I will drink", is paradoxical because it is both a reservation and an absolute. 

Close the doors...and the windows. 

 

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Posted in alcoholic, alcoholics anonymous, honest, program, Recovery, resercation, sobriety

Part 1:The Spiritual Malady...

"Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves."
 page 45 The Anonymous Press Study Edition of Alcoholics Anonymous

Alcoholism is a Soul Sickness and it is only fitting that the crux of the problem is where we begin our discussion. Suffering from a spiritual malady, the active alcoholic is cut off from the very thing they need in order to sustain life, the energy and grace that comes from our creator. Pride, selfishness, and self-centeredness are the very things that block us from this sunlight of the spirit.

It can be well established that we drink because we are alcoholics, we suffer from an internal condition that makes it nearly impossible to live with-in our bodies without some form of distraction, such as alcohol. However, our founders stumbled upon something that until that point had been widely ignored or overlooked by both the religious and medical fields. They found that a spiritual solution which removed those things which blocked us from God would in point of  fact treat the internal condition and in doing so allow us to live comfortably with ourselves.

Where we had once been powerless, power flowed in, we had become channels of God's power, testaments to his mercy and grace and doers of his will. All of these things remain possible as long as we are able to remain in the sunlight of the spirit and not dwell beneath the shade of doubt, pride and self.

"Whether such a person can quit upon a nonspiritual basis depends upon the extent to which he has already lost the power to choose whether he will drink or not."
page 34 The Anonymous Press Study Edition of Alcoholics Anonymous

I was not prepared for a spiritual solution when I was brought to the fellowship, nor was I willing to immediately accept that the only hope there was for me was to admit defeat, surrender my life to God and start doing his work. However, I was told early on and have since come to understand that the program of Alcoholics Anonymous that we know is designed to do primarily one thing...take a suffering alcoholic who is walking away from God and pick him up, turn he/she 180 degrees so that they now walk towards him.

Lastly I wish to say this, while it is not my place to diagnose anyone with alcoholism, I know today unequivocally that if you do not need the spiritual solution we have to offer, in other words you can stop on your own...you are not an alcoholic. If you can change your lifestyle, get a new set of friends, buy a fancy car or get slapped with enough probation and one of these things makes you stop...you are NOT one of us...

"There was a tremendous urge to cease forever. Yet we found it impossible. This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it - this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish."
page 34 The Anonymous Press Study Edition of Alcoholics Anonymous


There is it...If you have passed into the realm in which there was no return through human aid...you need God...

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Posted in acoholism, alcoholic, alcoholics anonymous, aloholics, fellowship, powerless, pride, self-centeredness, selfishness, soul, spiritual, spiritual malady

Slow Down...

Time is no commodity here, in fact, unlike much of world, time has very little meaning here...

Ice cream, now that of all things is a precious. Having awoken to a predawn chill in the air a subtle mist is slowly rising and revealing a gently cleansed surrounding. Everyone needs a chance to slow down a little and take a few deep breaths. We all need a reason to get out of bed in the morning and head into work. Today is that reason.

Despite the heartache and struggles that have come with this latest passing year I have among all things remained most richly blessed. Today I will spend my birthday with my wife and children on a distant beach, where despite the hopelessness of the plight, my eldest son will spend the whole day throwing sand into the sea. I suppose that if all the children stopped throwing sand in the ocean it might finally encroach upon us and swallow us whole. Thank you to the children, theirs is a tireless and thankless job.

It is important to point out that my life has become, in sobriety, something that I could have never imagined. Through staying sober a day at a time, giving my life to the God of my understanding, and remaining willing to practice our principles, I have been given a chance to have some real joy in my life. This is the vision of hope with which we are to pull the new comer. My life was once a darkness that lay as a tattered blanket over my helpless mass. Stripped of all that I knew, I was reached to and pulled from this muck. Feeling the breath of life rush into my lungs with a soft whoosh, I was pointed (by the folks in Alcoholics Anonymous) in this new direction.

It is an amazing life, though I spend much of it running as hard and as fast as I can, trying desperately to get ahead of the rest of the rats in the race. Today, a hard run takes me from one end of the island to the other in six minutes. It's time to slow down. it's time to take a look around, it's time to take stock of those things in my life that are often ignored and sometimes taken for granted! And though it's 7am and I have only been up for an hour, I think it is time for a nap...

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Posted in alcoholics anonymous, direction, God, principles, sober, struggles

Understanding

"We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness."  

Alcoholics Anonymous  page 84

The above statement makes the bold assumption that the reader has in fact rigorously adhered to our stringent spiritual way of life and has had, as a result, an experience which has placed them in the realm of the spirit. If the reader has not reached said point then you missed something along the way.

How many times have you heard this little statement at a meeting?

"The longer I am sober, the less I know."

Don't you wonder about those people? My sober experience increases, nearly exponentially, with each passing day. I know things today that I didn't know 5 years ago that have made it possible to help others in a way I never could have imagined. This again is an extreme example of false pride and eludes to the idea that we can easily level the playing field in AA to allow everyone to be liked, understood and ultimately respected. But this idea of a level playing field is counter to the way our fellowship was designed in which new people followed us down the path, doing what we did to get what we got.  It is vastly important that someone have gone before us and that the path be laid out and we cannot snub our noses at sober time.

Take this for example:

Let's pretend for a moment that a loved one is sick, they are suffering from a congenital heart defect that is going to require open heart surgery. They come to you for advice on where to seek treatment and which doctor they should choose. Do you advise them to go to the local community college and volunteer to allow some surgical techs to open them up? Absolutely not, you point them in the direction of the best treatment they can get from the surgeon with the most experience. 

So let me ask you this, why is it that when a guy with 20+ years of sobriety shares in a meeting we allow another member with 2 years to argue with them?

Now I will leave you with this...in the spiritual world there exists a paradox in which the closer one draws to God the smaller they see themselves before him and as one's knowledge grows so does the understanding of just how little they know. However the amount they didn't know is always decreasing, the awareness of how much that is should always be increasing.

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Posted in AA, alcoholics anonymous, effectiveness, life, path, pride, sober, spiritual, understanding

Absolute Truth

"Humility is knowing the absolute truth about one's self" -Mother Teresa

Humility is a very difficult subject, one that by it's very nature seems rather counter-intuitive. As one increases in understanding and knowledge they become more of an expert on the subject. By common belief in Alcoholics Anonymous this leads to a less humble individual. Wrong!

I stand to argue the point that we should make every effort to increase in understanding and effectiveness through the practice of these principles in our affairs we become masters in the art of knowing the truth about ourselves. We practice daily maintenance of a spiritual program of action in which we invite God into our lives to mold us into the beings he desires, we ask him to remove those things which block us from him and to strengthen those attributes which we will need to help those we should meet along the way. 

In the early days of my sober life and near the end of active addiction I experienced the type of humiliation that only we can understand. I was devastated, the result was that I learned to seek God in my life for the comfort and support I longed for. We must not confuse humiliation with the act of being humble. While it was certainly my experience to first be humiliated and then to become humble, it was not a cause and effect scenario. 

Take for example the above quote, it would suggest that our first experience with humility should come near the fifth step where we take a personal inventory of all that is good and bad and place it before God and another, in doing so we survey the wreckage and take stock of the salvageable.  We come to know the truth about ourselves such as we never had before. All the while placing ourselves before God. It stands to reason that some humiliation would come before this as we admit powerlessness or complete defeat, internalize that we are truly alcoholic and begin to see a need for a power greater than ourselves. 

Out of this weakness is born strength to discover the absolute truth about ourselves, some of us are great writers and other masterful musicians, while others still are incredible orators. We become fully aware, in God's presence, of the gifts we have been given and of the mission we are to set forth on. The man who is most humble is he who takes the gifts that have been given to him and uses them for the most good. 

Are you using your gifts for maximum goodness?

My new iMac will be here in just a couple of days and with it my new keyboard, which has an "L" key, something that I have been missing for a couple of months now, something which I thought to be very insignificant. To the contrary I have missed every keystroke in that time.

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Posted in alcoholic, alcoholics anonymous, effectiveness, experience, God, humble, humiliation, humility, power, powerless, understanding

HALT

HALT

Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired....now what?

It might have been a treatment center, or a well meaning member of the fellowship who first developed this conditional method of self awareness. Whoever it was, I am certain it was well intentioned, and at the time it was very intuitive. I am, however one that believes that we must remove the conditions on sobriety, in other words, we have to close the doors. If we are to tell ourselves that "if" this or that happens we don't know if we will stay sober, this or that will inevitably happen and we will be in the fight of our lives...see we already said we would drink!

Don't get me wrong, I am not bashing the concept, it was well meaning and I believe the original intent has been long lost. Our emotional and spiritual well being are intrinsically associated with our physical health. We have to remain vigilant, that we do not lose track of taking care of ourselves. Many of us were accustomed to taking poor care of ourselves in active addiction. Basic care of our physical selves was often neglected and as such we suffered. We went days without showers, missed meals, shunned others and seldom slept. Whilst our physical health declined, as did our emotional state and our spiritual world collapsed in on us. 

In recovery we are asked to heal all three parts. We also know that none of these parts can recover with out the others being taken care of. Tied together, our spiritual welfare is often tied to our physical well being. It is however one of the last places we look when we are troubled. As a result, other areas of our well being often begin to falter or fail before we look to our most basic needs. The combination of these are often deadly to an alcoholic. My experience is that if I get too hungry, too angry, too lonely or too tired all at once...I get a cold. It is my bodies way of saying...Stop, you have pushed yourself too far and you have had enough. It has nothing to do with taking a drink and everything to do with taking care of me so I can be of maximum service to you!

Please take a moment to visit our sponsor: The Token Shop

 

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Posted in AA, acoholism, alcoholic, alcoholics anonymous, drink, emotions, fellowship, sober, spiritual

Qui tacet consentire videtur...Silent?

He who is silent is understood to consent...

For many of us in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, our very lives depend upon an soft heart, an open mind and the ability to listen to and discern the truth we have so desperately sought.

 There is an alarming trend that has surfaced in our fellowship in recent years...Sponsor/Sponsee relationships in which neither individual shares the honest truth with the other. Out of fear and anxiety over the possibility of having to then be confronted with the truth about themselves, the sponsor neglects to share vital truths with the sponsee. These "suicide" pacts, will become very cumbersome to our fellowship as they continue to cause stagnant spiritual growth among some members. 

This issue has bled over into the meeting rooms and fellowship halls where we allow new-comers and old-timers alike to share about bars and drinking occasions. We are seldom willing to address, publicly or even privately the mistakes another member is making in an effort to help that member. 

It seems we would much rather make them happy than help them to reach a place of spiritual healthiness. 

Our silence is understood as consent, those who cannot, at present moment, differentiate right from wrong are dependent on us to do that for them. We cannot site by idly and hope that someone else will say the "right thing"...sometimes all that needs said is "something"!

Please take a moment to visit our kind host and sponsor:  

The Token Shop

 

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Posted in alcoholics anonymous, fellowship, open mind, spiritual, sponsor, truth

Where are the other nine?

Jesus asked, "Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine?" Luke 17:17

With-in the book of Luke in the Bible there exists a parable in which 10 people afflicted with leprosy are healed or made clean by Jesus. After such point nine of them leave without expressing the deep gratitude they should have for their lives being spared...one remains and for that is rewarded.

Regardless of your faith, one cannot help but draw a parallel between this story and similar ones in Alcoholics Anonymous. 

Much like the like the lepers of the time, active alcoholics are often cast out of society, deemed unclean and cast aside to die drunk. We are delivered through divine intervention to the rooms of AA where we are, through in immeasurable act of mercy, spared from the certain death of alcoholism. Our sobreity is contingent upon the the maintenance of our spiritual program which includes but is not limited to giving back to our fellowship through service, acts of mercy, charity, and the constant display of gratitude. 

However, as with the parable, AA is often stricken  with a case of the "other nines". Those alcoholics who, having found the solution, set off on their own selfish path to satisfy their own whims and desires. Soon they are too busy with life, to comfortable in sobreity, too tired, too sick, too warm or too cold to get out and carry the message. Soon they begin to suffer, the internal condition returns...and a drink looks appealing.

As for the one, "Rise and go; your faith has made you well.". We are called to remain in service, ours is a daily reprieve, and we must continue to diligently carry our message in order to assure that we remain free.

Up next? The Internal Condition!

Take a moment to check out our sponsor: The Token Shop

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Posted in alcoholic, alcoholics anonymous, faith, God, gratitude, message, service, sobriety, solution, spiritual