Why they go...

There will be much speculation surrounding this post, and I expect to draw more than a little bit of criticism too, but why not.

I want to take a moment to discuss with you in detail the very things that either drive the old-timers from AA or pull them to a drink.

There are two issues which I will be sharing:

1. The Return of the Alcoholic Ego
2. The Subject Matter of our Meetings

So the old dog just packed his crap up in his even older truck and took off? We sit in our meetings and spend a great deal of time discussing why we think John took a drink or why Phil hung himself, we blame the lack of meetings, we blame the divorce, the loss of a job or a child...sometimes we blame each other...I could have done more? However, the arrow often misses the mark. The return of the alcoholic ego kills more of us than alcohol does.

When we were brought to the rooms of AA we underwent a period of ego-deflation that left us humble and teachable. Some years go by and through sacrifice and charity we remain in a place of humility, a servant of God, do his trusted work...then something happens, we cut back on our meetings or there is an event that pulls us into another area of our lives and away from AA...(notice, that while before I mentioned us believing this was the cause, it is not...) Rather than returning to our place in the trench, a bit of self-righteousness sets in and we begin to say to ourselves, "can't someone else answer that phone." Now the once removed alcoholic ego has again stuck it's foot in the door of our spiritual life. It begins to manifest itself in all manners of selfishness and self centeredness. The end result is always this, we become convinced that AA doesn't need us and that we don't have anything more to gain from "those people". The separation has now occurred and while the drink hasn't yet come, it is not far around the corner.

They are not lost yet, but soon to be...make certain that we keep an eye out for this...
Stay tuned for part 2...Subject Matter in Meetings

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Posted in AA, alcoholic, drink, ego, God, humble, self-centeredness, self-rightousness, selfishness

HALT

HALT

Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired....now what?

It might have been a treatment center, or a well meaning member of the fellowship who first developed this conditional method of self awareness. Whoever it was, I am certain it was well intentioned, and at the time it was very intuitive. I am, however one that believes that we must remove the conditions on sobriety, in other words, we have to close the doors. If we are to tell ourselves that "if" this or that happens we don't know if we will stay sober, this or that will inevitably happen and we will be in the fight of our lives...see we already said we would drink!

Don't get me wrong, I am not bashing the concept, it was well meaning and I believe the original intent has been long lost. Our emotional and spiritual well being are intrinsically associated with our physical health. We have to remain vigilant, that we do not lose track of taking care of ourselves. Many of us were accustomed to taking poor care of ourselves in active addiction. Basic care of our physical selves was often neglected and as such we suffered. We went days without showers, missed meals, shunned others and seldom slept. Whilst our physical health declined, as did our emotional state and our spiritual world collapsed in on us. 

In recovery we are asked to heal all three parts. We also know that none of these parts can recover with out the others being taken care of. Tied together, our spiritual welfare is often tied to our physical well being. It is however one of the last places we look when we are troubled. As a result, other areas of our well being often begin to falter or fail before we look to our most basic needs. The combination of these are often deadly to an alcoholic. My experience is that if I get too hungry, too angry, too lonely or too tired all at once...I get a cold. It is my bodies way of saying...Stop, you have pushed yourself too far and you have had enough. It has nothing to do with taking a drink and everything to do with taking care of me so I can be of maximum service to you!

Please take a moment to visit our sponsor: The Token Shop

 

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Posted in AA, acoholism, alcoholic, alcoholics anonymous, drink, emotions, fellowship, sober, spiritual