Silence

I am terrified of the screams I hear in the silence of the night. It is there in cold darkness, alone with my thoughts when the stark reality of the world around me is most beautifully illuminated in the moonlight. I am often stuck by the sharpness of the truth when viewed through my own eyes. Painful as it may be, it's easily distracted if need be.

"God speaks in the silence of the heart, listening is the beginning of prayer." -Mother Teresa

When faced with difficult decisions, I often balk at action in exchange for an extended pause for reflection and opportunity for change without purposeful action. I am also frequently guilty of waiting for a decision to be made for me by someone or something else which allows me to play my hole card...victim. If I pause long enough to place the decision squarely in someone else's hands either by default or because they have less tolerance for the situation than I, they are forced to decide the outcome, if it turns out wonderfully, I can thank God and praise myself for my part in inactivity. If it turns out poorly as it often does, I can blame the other party for jumping to a decision too hastily. 

The best course is of course to seek the counsel of others, to pray in earnest for the knowledge of God's will and the power to carry it out, and lastly to take the appropriate action at the time it should be carried out to achieve the expected result, and then adjust accordingly as the situation then dictates! But the silence of truth is deafening. 

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Posted in ego, emotions, God, praying, truth, will

Let God?

This all to familiar topic in AA is the focal point of my morning writing. It becomes all to easy for me to place in God's hands all of the work instead of the outcome. After all if it is my job to plow the field and God's job to make the plants grow, which task seems like the least amount of effort is required? Do you know just how many plants we are talking about? The number of blades of grass in my yard is staggering.

We are taught in the 11 step to pray for the knowledge of God's will for us and the power to follow through. This is a two part step. In the first part we are praying that the contact be established and maintained so that we may hear God's voice when he calls. All to often we hear something else which requires less work or struggle. Or we entirely hand off the problem and close the channel of communication down.

In the second part of the 11 step we are to ask for the power, the will, or the strength to carry through with whatever message has been delivered. If we call, there will be an answer, and in time we will hear. When we have heard the answer to our prayer, we must act. Acting requires strength and courage and we should have the humility to ask for assistance.

Letting Go and Letting God, is simply put...letting go of our expectations and letting God guide us.

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Posted in AA, courage, God, Letting Go, praying, strength, will