When asked recently about the gifts I had received as a result of staying sober my thoughts went immediately on the defensive. While our fellowship is often sold to folks on the premise of being a cure-all to our life's problems, the fact is that Alcoholics Anonymous and more precisely sobriety is about freedom from alcohol.
I was rapidly drawn to the four or five times in my sober experience when my world had come crashing down around me and I was left with nothing more than sobriety. During those moments, and yes I mean those dark nights of the soul, when even the most connected to God people I know, lose touch, sobriety must be enough.
Our fellowship today along with the professional community would like for us to believe that if we can somehow straighten everything out within the confines of and AA meeting, then we can leave that meeting with no issues and can hence stay sober for one more day. So here is where this gets a little controversial, because as a self-help/group therapy program AA is worthless. We no so much know how to fix ourselves or you for that matter, as we know how to stop drinking without divine intervention. So why is it such common place for us to walk into a meeting and ask for advice or solutions to life's little problems? Let's give the credit where it is deserved...God will fix us when we jump in the trench and start digging. Drinking is not a cause and effect situation, and that said there is no way to adjust my conditions (read: get the right gifts and benefits) in life to maintain permanent sobriety without God. Wouldn't we be better off extending all of this energy helping others to hear the solution (digging the trench), rather than attempting to fix ourselves through cognitive therapy?
I hesitate to talk about the things that I have received, because I have been sober long enough to know that the things of this world, including emotional states are temporal. Armed with that knowledge, I now know that sobreity is perpetual and can last through even the lowest times.
That is not to say there haven't been some wonderful gifts, and credit must be given where credit is due, but one day, though little or no fault of my own I will again find myself standing at the precipice staring at my crumbled life and exuding gratitude over the simple yet profound knowledge that because I am sober today I will be able to discern God's plan for me. My sober life is not contingent today, rather it is a constant, while the rest of the world floats by dynamically altering the variables.
I was rapidly drawn to the four or five times in my sober experience when my world had come crashing down around me and I was left with nothing more than sobriety. During those moments, and yes I mean those dark nights of the soul, when even the most connected to God people I know, lose touch, sobriety must be enough.
Our fellowship today along with the professional community would like for us to believe that if we can somehow straighten everything out within the confines of and AA meeting, then we can leave that meeting with no issues and can hence stay sober for one more day. So here is where this gets a little controversial, because as a self-help/group therapy program AA is worthless. We no so much know how to fix ourselves or you for that matter, as we know how to stop drinking without divine intervention. So why is it such common place for us to walk into a meeting and ask for advice or solutions to life's little problems? Let's give the credit where it is deserved...God will fix us when we jump in the trench and start digging. Drinking is not a cause and effect situation, and that said there is no way to adjust my conditions (read: get the right gifts and benefits) in life to maintain permanent sobriety without God. Wouldn't we be better off extending all of this energy helping others to hear the solution (digging the trench), rather than attempting to fix ourselves through cognitive therapy?
I hesitate to talk about the things that I have received, because I have been sober long enough to know that the things of this world, including emotional states are temporal. Armed with that knowledge, I now know that sobreity is perpetual and can last through even the lowest times.
That is not to say there haven't been some wonderful gifts, and credit must be given where credit is due, but one day, though little or no fault of my own I will again find myself standing at the precipice staring at my crumbled life and exuding gratitude over the simple yet profound knowledge that because I am sober today I will be able to discern God's plan for me. My sober life is not contingent today, rather it is a constant, while the rest of the world floats by dynamically altering the variables.
Ok, well with that said. I think your one of the many thousands of people who thinks they are unique and has found away to do this alone. Give credit where credit is due you say. If it wasn't for bill and bob (and god) many if not all of us would of never gotten sober and found a new way of life, unless your living by the principals of the oxford group. The oxford group believed in only one god whereas "we" believe in the higher power of our understanding.
ReplyDeleteWouldn't we be better off extending all of this energy helping others to hear the solution (digging the trench.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely believe that this program can not be consummated alone, nor can any member expect to be able to maintain long term sobriety without others.
Perhaps there are meetings out there where people get together and share the solution with the new-comer and in doing so God removes from them their difficulties...that simply isn't my experience.
However the reliance upon groups as a way to make it through your day by dumping problems at the meeting is not only incredibly selfish but also is in direct violation of our traditions which state we are here to talk about recovery from alcoholism only. Meanwhile the new-comer sits in the corner unable to hear the message?
Thanks for your input!
The very first meeting I ever attended is a lot different then the ones I go to now, in my currant location. Although the principals and traditions are the same everything else is different. Personally I don't agree with some of the ways its done in other areas. The recovery here in central new york is amazing. And it is a daily reprieve through fellowship, working the steps and being of service. I think when we get into discussion of violating laws and bylaws, we have already forgotten our primary purpose. The meetings in this area are rock solid and have helped many many people stay sober and live better lives.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I should move...seriously, I have had the opportunity to travel to some small islands, where the fellowship and recovery rates are close to 100%, because they are not as easily influenced by those aspects of AA that have crept in during recent years, amazing!
ReplyDelete"Good things happen to drunks that don't drink"
ReplyDeleteWhen I was 15 years sober in 2002 my parents bought me a mint condition 97' white Cadillac Deville for my 40th birthday...(My old car was falling apart)
My parents were retired from the working class and set up well but, not rich..I need a car with extra good heavy suspension due to a previous back injury,
I was a single parent trying to put 3 children through high school.
When my parents arrived at my job location with the car from out of town they were as giddy as I had ever seen them...at first I thought they had purchased the car for themselves and just came by to show me but, the look on their faces and wide open grins had me feeling that there was something more with this level of enthusiasm..my dad says oh how do you like the car and i said oh dad it is beautiful...and he says oh I hope you like it because it is "yours" then I turn to my mom and she has the keys dangling in front of me and says Happy Birthday..by then my parents were in their own 8th year of sobriety...
I felt my knees buckle a bit in disbelief and had probably the closest feeling one my have if you had won a car on the "Price is Right"...
as I drove the car home for the first time I said to myself out loud that familiar saying we do hear around the tables.."Good things happen to drunks that don't drink" ...
I did the next day share my story at our local nooner meeting...the meeting where many newcomers come and talk about what ever is on their mind...so I did indulge and shared something very personal....and it was a real pick me up experience for everyone that attended...
So is it appropriate at certain times to share in meetings some of our blessings?..in this case on this day..the over flowing love in my heart took over...I believe with all my heart that we need to stay close to our primary purpose in meetings and what we share...and sometimes sharing our blessings and gifts is part of a message of hope and doesn't need to be the big focus but, it is of some good value...
I believe that your premise is wrong---"...the fact is that Alcoholics Anonymous and more precisely sobriety is about freedom from alcohol". Sobriety is not about freedom from alcohol, it is about choice. You have a choice whether to pick-up that first drink on not. It is a state of awareness brought about through acceptance of a Higher Power in your life. That level of spiritual awareness is brought about through regular maintenance of my spiritual condition (Step 11).
ReplyDeleteAlcoholics Anonymous is rarely sold as a fix all---"...While our fellowship is often sold to folks on the premise of being a cure-all to our life's problems." This is a misleading statement, since the Preamble, which is read at most meetings, clearly indicates that "Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism." No where does it state that it is going to solve all your problems.
A bi-product of the process is the restoration of sanity through a belief in a Higher Power (Step #2). It is in this phase the unmanageability of our lives is addressed, and some of the ways that we looked at problems in our lives began to fad.
The gifts that we have received are most likely to be the Promises (Big Book, P. 83-84), and the removal of our shortcomings (Step 7). For these, I am grateful.
Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment, even one that does not agree with my point of view.
ReplyDeleteIf I in some way insinuated that AA is a cure all, I was wrong, I believe that AA is a solution to alcoholism and that being fixed also fixed up some of the other problems in my life.
As for the power of choice, I believe that it states clearly in the book that we had lost the power of choice and it has not otherwise been restored to me. If I now have the power (i.e I am no longer powerless) to choose wither I will drink or not then I no longer need AA or a spiritual way of life.
But no, that is not the case, if you set a drink down in front of me X number of times I will drink the equation is X minus 1, I don't know if it is 1000 times saying no or just 1.
Thanks again for the thought provoking commentary and I will take some time to further examine your points! JustD