" The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death." page 30 The Anonymous Press Study Edition of Alcoholics Anonymous
I once heard it put that suffering from our metal obsession meant that when I wasn't drinking I was thinking of drinking. Now, with that said, I have not obsessed about a drink in a very long time. But it is not that simple, if it were, then cognitive reconditioning would cure of the obsession and we would be well.
I was six months into my sober life before I was able to look back at my life before I entered the fellowship and see the various ways alcohol was controlling me. My place of employment, my friends, where I spent my money, how I drove home from work...All of these things and more were carefully plotted in an effort to ease the drink. These are also all part of the mental obsession, the drink plot.
"again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks-drinks which they see others taking with impunity. "
Doctor's Opinion The Anonymous Press Study Edition of Alcoholics Anonymous
With the normal drinker, bad days come and go, they seem to be able to knock back a few to take off the edge and then go home to dinner and bedtime stories. The alcoholic drinker on the other hand can attempt a stint at sober living until the pain and discomfort from the internal condition becomes too great and he/she beings to seek out the familiar ease and comfort. Met with obstacles the alcoholic mind focuses all attention on obtaining the drink.
I would add that the, so eloquently put, drink plot, is most often the form in which the mental obsession manifests itself in the non-drinking alcoholic. It requires careful sober recall to identify the power alcohol had over every single aspect of the alcoholics life, because most do not recognize for some time that they actually chose those friends, and worked that job, etc. to make drinking easier. So too when the alcoholic ceases to drink for a period of time, and the internal discomfort rises to the surface, he most often does not think about the drink itself. Rather, in this hopeless state, he begins to reminisce about that old friend who he really had so many other things in common with, who it would be wrong to go with out checking in with, or he begins to despair of adjustments life in this new job require and begins to be convinced he will not be successful unless he returns to that old job. Alcoholic pride would rarely allow the alcoholic to consciously surrender to a life of drinking again. The unwillingness to identify complete powerlessness- the concept that every single aspect of the alcoholics life was indeed controlled by alcohol and not by a rational person, is the downfall of too many drunks seeking sobriety.
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