Let God?

This all to familiar topic in AA is the focal point of my morning writing. It becomes all to easy for me to place in God's hands all of the work instead of the outcome. After all if it is my job to plow the field and God's job to make the plants grow, which task seems like the least amount of effort is required? Do you know just how many plants we are talking about? The number of blades of grass in my yard is staggering.

We are taught in the 11 step to pray for the knowledge of God's will for us and the power to follow through. This is a two part step. In the first part we are praying that the contact be established and maintained so that we may hear God's voice when he calls. All to often we hear something else which requires less work or struggle. Or we entirely hand off the problem and close the channel of communication down.

In the second part of the 11 step we are to ask for the power, the will, or the strength to carry through with whatever message has been delivered. If we call, there will be an answer, and in time we will hear. When we have heard the answer to our prayer, we must act. Acting requires strength and courage and we should have the humility to ask for assistance.

Letting Go and Letting God, is simply put...letting go of our expectations and letting God guide us.

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Posted in AA, courage, God, Letting Go, praying, strength, will

HALT

HALT

Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired....now what?

It might have been a treatment center, or a well meaning member of the fellowship who first developed this conditional method of self awareness. Whoever it was, I am certain it was well intentioned, and at the time it was very intuitive. I am, however one that believes that we must remove the conditions on sobriety, in other words, we have to close the doors. If we are to tell ourselves that "if" this or that happens we don't know if we will stay sober, this or that will inevitably happen and we will be in the fight of our lives...see we already said we would drink!

Don't get me wrong, I am not bashing the concept, it was well meaning and I believe the original intent has been long lost. Our emotional and spiritual well being are intrinsically associated with our physical health. We have to remain vigilant, that we do not lose track of taking care of ourselves. Many of us were accustomed to taking poor care of ourselves in active addiction. Basic care of our physical selves was often neglected and as such we suffered. We went days without showers, missed meals, shunned others and seldom slept. Whilst our physical health declined, as did our emotional state and our spiritual world collapsed in on us. 

In recovery we are asked to heal all three parts. We also know that none of these parts can recover with out the others being taken care of. Tied together, our spiritual welfare is often tied to our physical well being. It is however one of the last places we look when we are troubled. As a result, other areas of our well being often begin to falter or fail before we look to our most basic needs. The combination of these are often deadly to an alcoholic. My experience is that if I get too hungry, too angry, too lonely or too tired all at once...I get a cold. It is my bodies way of saying...Stop, you have pushed yourself too far and you have had enough. It has nothing to do with taking a drink and everything to do with taking care of me so I can be of maximum service to you!

Please take a moment to visit our sponsor: The Token Shop

 

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Posted in AA, acoholism, alcoholic, alcoholics anonymous, drink, emotions, fellowship, sober, spiritual

Winds of Change

 The Winds of Change

So I have been away for a awhile, my "L" key is broken and it makes it rather difficult to type. I have been fueling my need for success and approval through this awesome new business, (thank you to all who have made purchases) picked up a new sponsee and have been hitting more meetings. Because you don't know me, I can be as candid as I please on here. This blog gets only a few unsolicited hits a day, my website even less, and all of those things lead to an overall feeling of failure. 

I have thousands of friends out there, people like you I will never meet, but I struggle with forming even the simplest of bond, I am even worse with permanent relationships. The majority of what I write here is accusatory, cynical and crass. No wonder you don't want to read it. But isn't that the point, I show you me and in turn I get to see me in a new light!

The fellowship is designed to help us to become better people, and for awhile I believed that I was changing, that my character defects were leaving, that I was become the person God intended for me to be. I talk about peace of mind and stillness in my heart, of kindness and compassion and of true love and understanding as if these are a checklist of ultimate goals. In the end they are ideals. We are all called to Sainthood and that means a life comprised of struggle and pain. With every self examination comes discovery and discord. I have found my life filled with distraction rather than meaning, with acquaintance rather than comradeship, with cynicism rather than understanding. While this does not paint a picture worth selling, I do recognize the power of potential as well as the need for change.

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Qui tacet consentire videtur...Silent?

He who is silent is understood to consent...

For many of us in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, our very lives depend upon an soft heart, an open mind and the ability to listen to and discern the truth we have so desperately sought.

 There is an alarming trend that has surfaced in our fellowship in recent years...Sponsor/Sponsee relationships in which neither individual shares the honest truth with the other. Out of fear and anxiety over the possibility of having to then be confronted with the truth about themselves, the sponsor neglects to share vital truths with the sponsee. These "suicide" pacts, will become very cumbersome to our fellowship as they continue to cause stagnant spiritual growth among some members. 

This issue has bled over into the meeting rooms and fellowship halls where we allow new-comers and old-timers alike to share about bars and drinking occasions. We are seldom willing to address, publicly or even privately the mistakes another member is making in an effort to help that member. 

It seems we would much rather make them happy than help them to reach a place of spiritual healthiness. 

Our silence is understood as consent, those who cannot, at present moment, differentiate right from wrong are dependent on us to do that for them. We cannot site by idly and hope that someone else will say the "right thing"...sometimes all that needs said is "something"!

Please take a moment to visit our kind host and sponsor:  

The Token Shop

 

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Posted in alcoholics anonymous, fellowship, open mind, spiritual, sponsor, truth