Are you an Alcoholic?

"The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink."

page 24 The Anonymous Press Study Edition of Alcoholics Anonymous

For many of us the question of our alcoholism remained a deep mystery well into our first year of recovery. Trapped in the notion that someday things might be different, we continued to hope for a different diagnosis, all the while be bombarded with blunt truth about ourselves and our condition. At some point, for me it was near 7 months, we will find ourselves defenseless against the truth, we will either admit we are the real thing or we will leave, the battle cannot wage on forever.

Experience has taught me that the quickest way to the truth is by presenting the facts and matching them with your experience in active addiction. Alcoholism is a three part illness which consists of the following:

1. The Spiritual Malady
2. The Physical Allergy
3. The Mental Obsession

In this post I will summarize the coming 3 part series where I will shed light on these. Anyone of these can become detrimental to a normal person, but when combined together in the alcoholic these traits become deadly. It is important for an alcoholic to understand the true nature of the illness. Having a firm grasp on these concepts will not only aid in your own sober life, but will prove vital in helping the new comer to find their place amongst us.

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Posted in alcoholic, alcoholism, defenseless, mental obsession, physical allergy, spiritual malady, truth

Thank You

I just wanted to take a minute to say thank you to all who have visited or may in the future.
Having this as an avenue to communicate has been very helpful and I wish to continue well into the future.
Updates are a little slower as things in my family life have complicated, but I am here and writing.
Thanks again and God Bless
Just D

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Part 3: The Mental Obsession

" The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death." page 30 The Anonymous Press Study Edition of Alcoholics Anonymous 

I once heard it put that suffering from our metal obsession meant that when I wasn't drinking I was thinking of drinking. Now, with that said, I have not obsessed about a drink in a very long time. But it is not that simple, if it were, then cognitive reconditioning would cure of the obsession and we would be well. 

I was six months into my sober life before I was able to look back at my life before I entered the fellowship and see the various ways alcohol was controlling me. My place of employment, my friends, where I spent my money, how I drove home from work...All of these things and more were carefully plotted in an effort to ease the drink. These are also all part of the mental obsession, the drink plot. 

"again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks-drinks which they see others taking with impunity. "

Doctor's Opinion The Anonymous Press Study Edition of Alcoholics Anonymous

With the normal drinker, bad days come and go, they seem to be able to knock back a few to take off the edge and then go home to dinner and bedtime stories. The alcoholic drinker on the other hand can attempt a stint at sober living until the pain and discomfort from the internal condition becomes too great and he/she beings to seek out the familiar ease and comfort. Met with obstacles the alcoholic mind focuses all attention on obtaining the drink. 

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Rarely...

  The line says..."Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path (our directions).

The Anonymous Press Study Edition of Alcoholics Anonymous

If this is the case then why is that we have a recovery rate that is below 10% in most parts of the country? Save the studies, I have read them, I am good with numbers, but I have been around for going on 10 years and I know what I have seen. People who come to our fellowship do not stay sober...at least at first...

Perhaps you may say, they just weren't ready...or better yet they weren't willing...or even better than that one is the old line...they weren't doing it for themselves...

My experience is this, I was brought to the fellowship as a hopeless case, I was 23 years old, I was neither ready or willing to do much of anything. I was flown to a rehab facility with a pill bottle in each pocket of my pants still detoxing from the previous nights load. I was getting sober, not for me...I could care less about me...but rather for the people who cared about me and were tired of watching me die.

But in very short order and rapid succession I was introduced to the "program" of AA, I was confronted with the truth about my condition and offered a reasonable solution to the problem I now faced. Those that 12-stepped me were patient but firm and resolute and for that I am grateful. Why me though? Why can't he or she get it?

It is my belief and observation that we as a fellowship often fail the newcomer, either we miss the opportunity to carry the message, or we are too busy working on our own crap to see that God has sent a messenger to tell us to take a break from ourselves. Our "program" remains 100% successful, at least in my own personal experience!

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Sober on the road...

I consider it a true blessing and wonderful gift that I have been privileged to go to meetings all over our country and beyond...While a home group, network of sober friends and a sponsor are vital things, once a foundation is laid down and one gains some comfort in sober life...one must travel! Seek out the ends of the earth...and find us...

"We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny." Alcoholics Anonymous page 164

I have participated in meetings at Bellvue Hospital in NYC, I have sipped morning coffee while watching the sun come up over Magen's Bay in the USVI...I have had Cuban Coffee with a group of snowbirds in the Florida Keys and caught a Midnight Meeting of the Mustard Seed Group...Don't worry West Coasters I am on my way someday soon...

Everywhere I have wandered and roamed in sobreity you have been there, from the week-end trips to Tennessee to stay in touch with my Aftercare group (monthly 700 mile round-trips for dinner and a meeting), to multi-week island adventures, AA has been the backbone of my sober life on the road.

I have been to some powerful meetings, meet some extraordinary people, many of whom are forever a part of my life, have learned some awesome things, and through it all I must say Island AA is wicked awesome stuff...

It must be the small groups, the interpersonal relations, the constant flow of new old timers, that combine together to form this tight knit group of people who, despite hurricanes, poverty, an endless party atmosphere around them, stay sober year after year...Thank you for making sure that when we leave here to unwind you are there keeping the doors open and carrying the message...

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