If one wishes to define "making it" as long-term continuous sobriety, then certain things have to change and others must become present for this to happen. There must come first a lasting lifestyle change which is all encompassing. This can and usually begins with a plethora of AA meetings where a new person is exposed to the solution we have avaiable. That person then engages the solution, embraces the lasting lifestyle changes and sets forth on a new path, one which places God in the center of our universe. In a God centered life we learn to be of maximum service to others, as well as a reliance upon his divine guidance during the certain low points to come.
It is common place in our fellowship today to use the meetings as a source of guidance in dealing with our everyday problems, problems which in context are meant to strengthen our relationship and reliance upon God
Once this relationship has matured we no longer need to rely on meetings to support us through our days, in fact it becomes detrimental to lasting sobriety to do this.
It is a paradox that we must give away what we have in order to keep what we have. What we have is a simple, perpetual solution to alcoholism, and while we have problems and the such, it is our solution we wish to keep and our solution we must give to others. We are provided a forum by which to do this in meetings and other twelve step work, however I must reiterate that without a mature relationship with God we will not have the strength or grace we need to properly supply this solution.
Meeting makers don't make it, and dispensing this advice, is akin to telling someone to go into a room but not allowing them to turn on the light. After standing in darkness for long enough they will ultimately desire to leave.
Those who "make it", rely only meetings for the prospect of finding new members with which to share the solution, thus securing their own lasting sobriety.
I had an old timer tell me once, after pretty much saying what you said in this blog. He said son" your to effin smart for this here fellowship.
ReplyDeleteSo yes your right. Meeting makers make it to meetings thats it. There's a lot more to it then just going to meetings. Its about working the steps and living by a set of principals. That's how we make it one day at a time.
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ReplyDeleteAmen, it's the steps you take, not the meetings you make!
ReplyDeleteYou are right to a degree. A person needs to work the steps to get sober, continue to work the steps to stay sober, and give away what they have to help others. I, however, disagree with you on the need to have a mature releationship with God in order to supply the solution. There are many people out there with long-term sobriety who do not believe in God. I know a one person who is a wealth of knowledge with over 20 years of sobriety and he doesn't believe in God. He stays sober by going to meetings and getting involved in AA.
ReplyDeleteThe book states very clearly if you can get sober on a non-spiritual basis then you are NOT one of us...thanks for making the coffee but we don't really need you in our meetings watering down our spiritual solution....
ReplyDeleteSpiritual yes, but God...no. There is a whole chapter to the agnostic. And you are also forgetting about a very important thing, the 3rd tradition. You may not like having a person who doesn't believe in God at your meeting but the 3rd tradition states they can be there as long as they have a desire to stop drinking.
ReplyDelete3.) Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend upon money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. Group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation.
ReplyDeleteThe long form is a bit more specific, in that we ought not exclude any alcoholic...
Qualifications? Need spiritual help to get sober? Lost power of choice and control?
The line between heavy drinker and alcoholic is often blurry but ultimately it comes down to the need for a spiritual experience to get sober and stay sober...
Great comments...Thank you all!
Bill W. says: "Please don't make a religion out of AA." The Fellowship must be free to evolve just as we are, otherwise elements of fundamentalism and cult creep in. We all stay sober in our own way, developing the relationship with a Higher Power that is unique to us individually. That's how they designed the programme, and it's because of the conscious choice they made NOT to tell me who or what my God is that I can belong. Don't lay down laws for others in AA please. Be integrity with self and HP.
ReplyDeleteawesome stuff....i just want to give some gratatuide to the drunk that worked his program outside of the meetings...who practice the principles in all his affirs due to the factwhen i was in the maddness and in the grips of this diease i was no where near a meeting...i needed the dude at denny's seein me passed out in my grand slam breakfast to plant the seed of A.A. sticking his hand out to me..We do assume in A.A. that every one has recovered from a hopless state of mind and body by a power greater then them selves..that assumtion has killed us by the thousands
ReplyDeleteGreat stuff...its good to hear this seemingly obvious, yet undervalued concept- for our lives to truly change, WE must change. And that means working, then living the steps. Namaste!
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